In February of 2009, a month after W leaves the Whitehouse taking all the silverware with him, the digital TV deadline makes all of your old analog TV sets into paperweights or decorative planters. You will need to go out and purchase a new digital TV, a digital tuner to hang onto the back of your analog TV, or just stop watching the crap altogether. Like I really care if some beauty queen reject with Dow-Corning D-cups wants to marry a millionaire.

Working in the broadcasting business as I do, I am privy to the tip of the iceberg of some industry strategies which I will be happy to pass on to you now, free, for nothin.

1. Digital Tv (aka ATSC) will not give you bigger, brighter, realistic pictures regardless of how much you are spending for that 50" HDTV plasma. The increased bandwidth allotted to the broadcaster will more than likely be chopped up into multiple "revenue streams" to maximize their profit.

2. Just about every broadcaster will offer some sort of HDTV channel to fill up your widescreen TV but to facilitate the multiple money making revenue streams the HDTV signal will be compressed as hell, pushing the camel through the eye of the needle. Result? Pictures that look like shit but technically comply with the HDTV standards.

3. Consumers will pay lots more for the technology while probably seeing a decline in the qulity of the content. Broadcasters will spend trillions buying equipment to stay in colmpliance with federal regulations without a clear method of recouping any of those costs. Consumer electronics retailers will slash prices to the bone trying to stay competetive, eventually pushing many of them out of business.

Who wins? Don't know, Don't care. I'm moving to Costa Rica. Hablo espanol?